Salam world.

I sometimes don't understand why people i barely know confide in me so much.
not that it bothers...
but for some people, i wish i hadn't known too much.

it's like...
they confide..
ask me for help...
and poof!

after that i'm DUST.
yea you heard me right.

DUST.


today a friend told me
"be selfish for once"


and selflessly i told her,
i can't.


O Allah why?
You know how i feel.


it's like i pine hopes... and before i know it,
it's all taking a turn for the worst.



Please give me strength.

for i know this wouldn't end just like that.


Sometimes i wished i was a little colder than i am.





But then again,
Islam never teaches us to be cold.





Astaghfirullah.

Watching live telecast in Makkah now.

O Allah... i miss it so much.




Ramadhan this year has been particularly special... I feel special at least.
Yeah some of you have been wondering perhaps.
Why the changes?


My answer to you? It's all in the Qur'an.


There are times I have been swayed... But this Ramadhan brought me closer to Allah.
Alhamdulillah.



You can adapt to the changes?
I'm sorry. I'm just following Allah's commands. I'm trying to be a better Muslim who obeys His orders.

If you still can't accept it....
Well, like what Baba Ali of Ummah Films said regarding guys who don't want their girls to be hijab-ed,
"you gotta drop (them) like a bad habit cause (they) ain't worth it"



And yes sisters :)


You've just got another fellow Hijabbi here!!!!!



I used to don it because I felt that the situation was deemed inappropriate if I don't....
Or that I feel obliged by my parents.....
Or just because I feel like it.


But NOW,

Alhamdulillah, Allah has guided me. Given me guidance, given me a stronger faith.
SubhanAllah.
I am going to wear it for Allah S.W.T, to follow His commands, to please Nabi Muhammad S.A.W =)
if Allah knows BEST, and makes it obligatory for women to be hijabbed and dress modestly...
just what harm can be in it?
He knows BEST, hence anything He makes us obliged to do is BEST for us.
May Allah continue to guide us, and all the other girls out there, Insya-Allah.



I'm gonna end this post with a quote!



[2:256] There is no compulsion in religion, for the right way is clearly from the wrong way. Whoever therefore rejects the forces of evil and believes in God, he has taken hold of a support most unfailing, which shall never give way, for God is All Hearing and Knowing. -Al-Qur'an

or maybe another quote.

[An-Nur 24.31] And say to the believing women that they cast down their looks and guard their private parts and do not display their ornaments except what appears thereof, and let them wear their head-coverings over their bosoms, and not display their ornaments except to their husbands or their fathers, or the fathers of their husbands, or their sons, or the sons of their husbands, or their brothers, or their brothers’ sons, or their sisters’ sons, or their women, or those whom their right hands possess, or the male servants not having need (of women), or the children who have not attained knowledge of what is hidden of women; and let them not strike their feet so that what they hide of their ornaments may be known; and turn to Allah all of you, O believers! so that you may be successful.






(i'm gonna have to study now!!!!)

Assalamualaikum! :)

SubhanAllah.
Walhamdulillah
Walaillahailallahu
Allahu Akbar Wallah haula wala kuwwata illa billahillailiyyilazhiem...










i'm searching... i'm searching for The Light.








Ya Allah. Guide this servant of Yours.











I never felt this way before... so overwhelmed. Subhanallah.







Astaghfirullahallazhim. Ya Allah. Forgive me of my sins.

These are a street delicacy from Thailand called 'Khanom Bueng'. They look so delicate and sweeeeeet. Always wondered how they tasted like. Hmmz.

Ramadhan's leaving :-(





















last few days, last few days. time to speed up!!!!





































truth is, i haven't been mugging properly.

i need motivation. :-(













OK zee PUCKER UP time to zoom zoom zoom thru those facts, theories, concepts ok?





I CAN DO THIS.





































sigh.

pardon my prev cursing posts. jason used my account again.
well the boy is now in cali, LA doing his thang in dance.
there goes somebody from my life....... since he's pretty much gonna settle there.

ray is off to aussie too.
hope all's good for her. her health too. both she and sister exchange mails with me occassionally. and since she can type, it's probably telling me her condition's improving.

yeah i know, it was kinda overwhelming to cope with.
there was this point i missed them so much. i guess its a feeling that'll come and go.
it just sucks when it comes though.















ok so i can't fast.... 10 last days.
redha, zee redhaaaa.


















new world order.

Damn. Seriously, the world is going crazy.

Yesterday was too much for me to handle. Yeah of course it made me happy, I made new friends, real friends. What more can I ask for? Keith, yonghan and gerald were really nice to talk to. What made me happier was the little secret of mine that they now know of. Well maybe now its not so little anymore, thanks to the help of some communicator (s).

I'm just so sick of everyone judging everyone. When I was in crescent, life was so much different, so much easier, so much clearer. Yeah YOU are probably gonna say well zee, this ain't crescent anymore, you gotta see more of life. LIKE WTF, is life seriously all that bad?
You can stick to your own views. BUT I'M NOT YOU. sorry friend.

I was so taken aback yesterday. I told you alright, I have that much conscience in me to not let such LITTLE issues affect me okay? I HAVE more important, life-shaken issues to handle that you don't know of. Don't assume you know so much about me. I know what you're like. I know what to say and what not to say to you. Yeah you have the other two whom you keep calling your own and you keeo saying i'm not part of them. well damn right, I ain't part of you guys.
I don't wanna be cliqued to just a group of people. I want to be free, I want to mix around with others. I was really shocked yesterday.

Why did you have to bring the issue up? Do you know them that well to have that enough trust in them? FYI, i know some people there long before you knew them, just that i never told you.
And you kept bringing it up. "I didn't know I was so sociable"

you are NOT that sociable. You're just taken in by them.
You could have just sat with us to talk to us right? I had so much fun talking to yonghan and gerald.
Even they had the conscience to ask "Why is she talking to him about you?"
"What is she talking about ah?" "Is she flirting?"

Seriously, GET A GRIP.

I was happy, or more like i forced myself to be in front of you because i didn't want to hurt you.
But inside, i was burning like fire.
I believe that keith, gerald and yonghan doesn't deserve to see me getting upset just a few hours after getting to know them.
I don't know what to say anymore. I'm just... disgusted in some way. Prolly shaken too.

i don't bother about what others say, they can talk all they want. eventually they'll know what's the truth and what's not. Besides these people don't know who I am. I don't bother!
It's different if you know me well, and you turn your back against me.
These people don't know me, I don't know them either.
I'll be taking away my life if I want to bother so much about it.


The only thing that gets me now is the kind of look, the kind of BOTHERING expressions these group of people might give. I know somehow in someway I would get affected. But i know i'm stronger than all that. It's gonna get over, it'll die off, people will forget.




To the dude of the same age as me, thanks for the talk, but I AM NOT OBSESSED.
i'm not gonna like commit suicide just because of a minor thing man.
I just like the way he is. It doesn't mean I have to be with him or marry him or give up my life for him.
FYI, i'm not like any other girl out there. If you know me you'll know what I mean.
He's just a pleasant sight. You agreed with me didn't you?
You told me I'll get tired after some time. We'll see.

Maybe other girls would. Maybe not me. Maybe.
We'll still see.

Seriously, i don't see anything wrong in this.
My intention of putting it on my status was because there were people around me who had a thing for him too and i thought it was subtle enough.
Maybe i'm naive. I didn't know people would actually bother visiting my page, or even read my status.
I don't know man, i don't know.
I swear if there's one thing i could avoid in this world right now or before, it was about letting people know of the little rendezvous i have in my life. this was the first time such a matter was blown up, that too, for no right reason. There was a reason why i told you to stop talking about him around me. there was a reason why i kept quiet when you mention him. there was a reason why i didn't want to follow you to places that i might chance upon him. There was a reason for EVERYTHING.


yeah you'll prolly hate me as hell after reading this, that's if you read.
but seriously, i don't think i deserved that kind of reaction from you.
you just wait and see.
the consequences of your actions.
just wait and see.



i'm dreading just the thought of it.

you know i just HATE it when some friends come to you